A Real Man – A Real Cowboy

This man tastes like a single shot of Jägermeister… his sweet words slide down my throat so effortlessly that I don’t even need a chaser. The Miller Lite slightly coating my lips has become the only thing he needs, and I fear the look in his eyes – entirely pure. This cowboy’s boots have left marks on more honky tonks than I can count, but he’s never scarred a pretty heart. When I place my hand on his chest, I feel his heartbeat, and it becomes my favorite beat. “Broken Window Serenade” moves our feet, but his eyes lead me the entire night. Our forehead sweat trickles down our faces reminding us that we’ve been on this dancefloor for hours which means heartbreak is awaiting us. Our temporary bliss begins to escape our bodies – he pulls me in closer, moves me slower, and hesitates to steal a kiss because he realizes my lips are poison. I fixate on his silver chain with a cross dangling on his black t-shirt, and remember that this man is good. I know in his mind he’s playing with fire, but he’s willing to get burnt if it means one more dance…one more look in my eyes…one more rose to gift me…one more “maybe later down the line” from my teeth. His eyes looking down underneath his cowboy hat have become my favorite daydream long after the night is gone. His hopes are hollow when he holds my hand, but he still spins me and yearns to make me feel wanted. He drives me home, and I promise to save his roses in my journal because even though I’m not his lucky star he wants me to remember our nights together. My heart is a road he’s never been on before, and I assure him that it will come to a dead end. I rush to my door without looking back because I don’t want to hurt anymore for consistently breaking his heart. All I have left are my tired feet and a crumbled rose in my journal to remember him until I see him again underneath the neon lights. I know I’ll sleep in the Zach Bryan t-shirt he gave me just to remember the goodnight kiss he once gave me. But, I still want to walk alone. My idea of a real man – a real cowboy that could’ve been easy to love, and even easier to hold.